If you got aroused, stop and leave now. This isn't biology. It's English.
If you got aroused knowing that it was English, leave now. Don't get aroused.
The first thing mentioned is that we probably think that commas are as old as electrons. This is obviously not true. We all know that commas have existed well before electrons, or for that matter, when my physics teacher was young. And that was back when "Machu Picchu was still 'Picchu,'" according to my physics teacher.
Then, it talks about semicolons, which are apparently a more modern creation, which might potentially explain why my English teacher despises them so much (although I'm not sure whether the emotion is actually closer to a dislike or a brotherly love).
If the above were to be true, then it might explain his same kind of attitude towards emoticons such as :) and ;P and >:-D##=-, since both are relatively recent, yet in wide use and 'useful' (although the versatility of emoticons is a subject for debate).
This is an impressive emoticon.
Now, we look back at the title.
Have these new forms of punctuation simply evolved due to their necessity? Maybe. As I always hear, language is always evolving, which is why it's sort of ridiculous to have any form of standardized English tests. You can't really reliably test everyone on something that constantly changing, especially when we're talking about something as complex as the English language. Chances are, "My having of breakfast this day's morning had had had led to a rather entertaining time whilst having been upon will to be being is unto which inasmuch ultimately a great piece of pizza," is a correct sentence in a standardized test. Pretty redonculous.
And English continues to evolve. Ellipses, plus signs, and hashtags have all evolved into their respective forms. Now: quotations. Quotations are those things that have a bunch of weird rules attached to their faces. "Why even bother?" he said with a nasty frown. According to "Q for Quotation," a short essay about quotations, quotations are like "cicadas... [because they] chirp and chirp..." If used correctly, quotations should directly circulate the dialogue provided by the original text.
Now, have quotations evolved to do the above? Probably.
Will it change? Possibly.
Does it matter? Maybe.
What can we do about time. Nothing. Just enjoy the language as it is for now.
Though it may all be a lie.
>:-D##=-
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